if only

Life is full of “if only” moments. “If only” are two of the hardest words in the English language. Sure, there are other words, bigger and more complex words, like “hello” or “goodbye.” The four most important words in a marriage are, “Honey I was wrong.” The five best words you can say to another are, “Keep up the good work!” You can take down a president with three words, “He looks tired.” But those two words, “If only,” are deep and far-reaching. They will plague you. “If only” I was there. “If only” she hadn’t. “If only” I took the keys or called for a ride. “If only” he visited me. The list goes on. What “if only” moments flood your thoughts today?

Paul had an “if only” moment. He had a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass him, to keep him from becoming conceited. Three times he pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave him: “If only I didn’t have this thorn in my flesh.” And God said to Paul, “No. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” It’s no use complaining when God has a plan. It’s no use pining over “if only” moments if God has something else in store for you. And Paul accepted his circumstances: “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Job had an “if only” moment. He lost his family, his wealth, and his health. He cried out to God, “If only I hadn’t lost everything! Why?” And God responded: “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? Or who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb, when I made clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band? Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to know its place?” What else could Job say? What else could you say? “Lord, I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”

Jesus had an “if only” moment. He prayed in the garden the night before his crucifixion, “My Father, if [only] it be possible, let this cup pass from me…” He was about to face the most horrible death, a death on a cross, and not for His own sins, but for others. He even prayed a second time, My Father, if [only] this cannot pass unless I drink it…” But this was his destiny. He could not escape God’s purpose. And so Jesus resolved, “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. Your will be done.”

God has a purpose for you and works all things according to the counsel of his will (Eph 1:11). And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28). His purpose doesn’t always line up with ours, does it? And that’s the hardest part, to adjust our plans to His. Those “if only” moments aren’t any easier. It’s hard to live this life according to God’s plan and purpose. It is constant “heart work,” to submit and bless His name in the good times and the wilderness. “If only” we will grow in this.